Nowadays you hear about climate change wherever you go. Almost every day you can read in the newspapers about catastrophes caused by the climate change. Nevertheless, the changes are accelerating and soon there will be no more polar ices and more and more animals and species are becoming more or less endangered. We have since long heard of these changes, so why is it so hard for humankind to understand what is actually happening?
First of all, I believe that more or less all people are greedy, in one way or another. Buying clothes and things that once were produced in a country far away, by children that work more or less for free, is cheaper than buying something produced in a factory where people actually get properly paid. The demand for new things keep accelerating too; humans keep on wanting new technology which makes different companies producing more and more advanced stuff.
Secondly, people are lazy. By having a mobile phone, you do not have to worry about finding a telephone when you need to call someone. I do agree; having a mobile phone makes communication quicker and easier. However, people survived without those things fifty years ago. They did manage to walk to a phone booth or even all the way home.
A third possible cause for these changes is the fact that we get too much information. I believe that people cannot handle all the information, so they choose to look away. Another reason could be that the truth is simply too inconvenient to handle. If you do not want to realize, then you simply do not, and if you do not see it, it is not there.
Climate changes have been going on for ages. It was climate changes that once caused the Ice Age and it was climate changes that made most of the ice melt. However, I believe the demand for an easier and cheaper way of living makes the climate change even faster, in a highly unnatural way.
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Hello Maria.
SvaraRaderaI think that your text is good and your pionts are very true. You have made paragraphs correctly and your topic sentences make sence. You have used connecting words through the whole text and you have a good introduction.
The only thing I can comment on in a negative way, is that you maybe should consider to make your last paragraph a bit more like a conclusion. Sum up your paragraphs.
Anna
Dear Maria,
SvaraRaderaThank you for your thoughts on the topic of climate change. I enjoyed reading it, and you deal very well with the intended topic!
The text is structured in a very neat way, with an introduction that gives a general background to the topic and a question that is relevant to the topic in the end of it. However, make sure that the question you pose is indeed the one you try to answer in the subsequent paragraphs! In your case, I think a more appropriate question would have been “Why is it so hard for people to change their behaviour in order to curb climate change” (or the alike). In paragraphs 2, 3 and 4 you discuss one idea at a time, and you introduce each of those paragraphs by a clearly formulated, not too long topic sentence, making use of transitional devices - way to go! As to your conlusion, make sure it deals with the things you have discussed in the main body of the text. In your case it should have dealt with greed, laziness and information overload rather than whether climate change has occurred in the past.
As to language, think about subject-verb agreement, as in “The demand for new things keep accelerating too”, where “demand” is the subject. You keep using “more or less” – try varying the expressions you use a bit. In “more animals and species are becoming more or less endangered” it could have been left out altogether. Think about which relative pronouns to use, e.g. in “by children that work more or less for free” “who” would have been a better choice that “that”. Also, make sure your references are clear. In “A third possible cause for these changes”, your use of “changes” causes confusion, since you talk about two kinds of changes – climate change, which cannot be what you refer to here, and the fact that people are so slow in changing their behaviour, which is a change that does not take place and therefore also cannot be what you are referring to. In “Climate changes have been going on for ages” you seem to deal with climate change in the generic sense, which means you should not use the plural.
Looking forward to reading your next blog!
Best,
Marika
Hi Maria,
SvaraRaderaI’ll really enjoy reading your text.I also think that we must begin to offer something for the world, so the ozonosphere will be thicker again.
Your text has a good topic sense and the title was very appropriate. There was a good introduction with a very good title to convince us to do something. The paragraphs have a first sentence related to the text and also to the question. It was easy to following your thoughts through the whole text. You have given us sufficient amount to realize that something is happening.
The only thing I have a question about is the conclusion. Maybe it could has been more addressed to the topic and about your question. I also think about how you are using “more or less” frequently, maybe you could find another word or phrase instead.
Otherwise, I’ll think you have made a great text for us to reflect on/Mia